Corny Jokes That Will Surely Get You A Good Laugh
In a restaurant: Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!!
Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.
One teacher said this to his students before the final test.
“A” is for God.
“B” is for me and my wife.
“C” is for the perfect student.
“D & F” are for all other students.
Man said to God — Why did you make women so beautiful?
God said to man — So that you will love them.
Man said to God — But why did you make them so dumb?
God said to man — So that they will love you.
Olive you so much! (I love you so much..)
Mary: John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly. What do you think, Peter?
Peter: I think you’re pretty ugly.
A person who speaks two languages is bilingual…A person who speaks three languages is trilingual…A person who speaks four or more languages is multilingual.
What is a person who speaks one language?
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
The man says, “OK, give me the good news first.”
The doctor says, “The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.”
The man replies, “Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?”
The doctor says, “The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.”
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an “I”.
Student: I is the….
Teacher: Stop! Never put ‘is’ after an “I”. Always put ‘am’ after an “I”.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”
The man replies, “And how would you do that?”
The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”
The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”
The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”
The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.
For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog’s legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.
For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.
For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn’t able to walk with only one leg.
As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it’s hearing after having three legs cut off.