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10 Kinds Of Friends It's Time To Break Up With

Lifeberrys 2020-07-30 13:49:08

July 30 marks for International Friendship Day, whereas in India it is celebrated on the first Sunday of August. Psychotherapist Lillyana Morales, LMHC says "A healthy friendship should feel like a safe space where you can be yourself, share your inner thoughts and feelings, not feel worried about judgment, and overall feel lifted up rather than put down"

"If you’re feeling uncomfortable, unhappy, or on edge around someone, then it may be time to reflect on what may be triggering these feelings."

Passionate love that can turn toxic and sour (or even just... fade away) isn't the sole realm of romantic relationships. Friendships are also complex dances that can end in tears and breakups. If some of your connections just don't feel right anymore, you might be wondering how to know when to end a friendship. If you're not being treated the way you deserve to be treated, one of these 10 friendship red flags might be at play.



# The Friend Who Doesn't Respect Your Identities

You're stoked to introduce your inner circle to your new girlfriend, but they say you're just "going through a phase." They might tell you that you "talk about race too much" or that you're "too sensitive" to people's ableist jokes.

Maybe you've been best friends since you were kids, so they say they're really used to your old pronouns and name. But if they use your identity to diminish or belittle you, or make zero effort to understand you, they are definitely not a person you need in your life.

# The Friend Who Makes You Feel Like A Loser

Sure, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent," but also... sometimes people are just jerks. It's one thing if they got a promotion and you're so happy for them but it reminds you that you're not quite where you want to be yet.

It's completely another situation when your pal celebrates themself by putting you down, constantly implying (or even directly saying) that they're the smartest and most successful person in the room.

# The Friend Who Gaslights You

If your compadre constantly implies that everything's your fault in a friendship, it might be time to call gaslighting what it is and bounce. Listen to their actions instead of their words if they're treating you like crap while telling you how much they care about you.

They might accuse you of being oversensitive and mean when you explain why you were hurt when they said that your new dress would look better on them. If they do these things routinely and blame it all on you when you try to address it, it's probably time to return their friendship card.

# The Friend Who Doesn't Respect Your Boundaries

If you have that one friend who always FaceTimes you late at night even when you've told them you're going to bed, they might not be respecting your boundaries. You may have to take the leap of communicating your boundaries to your friends first and enforcing them. Being that emotionally exposed can be terrifying, but you need to tell your buddy that even though you normally love hugs and physical affection, you don't like to be touched when you're crying. (Sure, they should probably ask first and touch later, but communication goes both ways.)

"Establishing boundaries early into friendships can make the difference of having a quality, healthy relationship with someone," Morales says. "Being open and honest about who you are and what your boundaries are does require vulnerability, but connecting with another human being in a healthy way can be worth it."

# The Friend Who Never Reaches Out To You

You’re the one who always makes the call to hang out, and when your friend does answer your texts (which does not happen often), it always feels like they're doing you a favor. “Yeah, I guess dinner works for me on Friday. I’m going to be a little late. Oh, and I need to leave early. Is that cool, too?” If that sounds all too familiar, you're allowed to ask for better communication.

# The Friend Who Doesn't Respect Your Time

I'm not talking about the friend who lives with chronic pain and sometimes needs to change plans because they're having a flare-up. I'm talking about the friend who is always three hours late without texting or offering an apology, or the friend who constantly leaves you hanging without confirming or cancelling plans, leaving you in a perpetual state of limbo as to what the deal is. You don't have to play that limbo game, because you really can set the bar higher.

# The Friend Who Judges You For Your Goals

Your friends will call you out when you're making mistakes, but there's a big difference between how you feel when your bestie is giving you solid advice (even if it's tough to swallow), and how you feel when a pal is judging you and your dreams. Reality checks are often needed, but when the response to your big dream is "ew, why would you want to do that?" or "I mean, I guess if you really want to," you'll know you deserve more thoughtful support.



# The "I'm Just Being Honest" Friend

"You are really clingy in relationships," they tell you when you're worried about your girlfriend shutting down when you try to talk to her about emotions. Your pal might be telling you things with grains of truth, but that's never the full picture. You deserve someone who's nicer about it when they think there's a tough truth you have to confront.

# The Friend Who Never Asks How You Are

It takes them an hour and a half of talking about me, myself, and I to finally ask how you are. You really do want to hear about their job, but you just wish they'd give you the same emotional space in return. A friendship is supposed to be a two-way street, after all. If you've tried explaining to them that you need more attention in the relationship and they haven't changed their behavior (even if they apologized and said they heard you), they might just be waving ye old red flag.

# The Friend Who Is Only Your Friend When It's Convenient

Maybe they're in between datefriends, or they're in town and need a place to crash, even though they haven't answered your texts in months. If you feel like they're not exactly using you, but they're only a strong presence in your life when they don't really have anything else going on, it's reasonable to start to wonder if you need them in your life at all.

Here are some wishes, messages, images to share on WhatsApp, Facebook, SMS, and Instagram:

# Good friends are hard to find,
Harder to leave,
And impossible to forget!
Happy Friendship Day!

# Friendship is like a perennial river which flows forever.
It may change its path but will never ever dry up.
Happy Friendship Day!

# You will always be my best friend.
Happy Friendship Day!

# We go together like 'cupcakes' and 'frosting'!
Happy Friendship Day!

# A hug is worth a thousand words.
A friend is worth more.
Happy Friendship Day!

# I am very fortunate to have you as my friend.
I feel blessed to have a loving soul like you.
Happy Friendship Day!

# Your grace and cheerful nature are an inspiration to me.
May you have a wonderful Friendship Day!

# A single rose can be my garden, a single friend, my world.
Happy Friendship Day!

# It is the privilege of friendship is to talk nonsense,
and have that nonsense respected.
Happy Friendship Day!

# A good friendship stands the test of time.
Happy Friendship Day!

# A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
Happy Friendship Day!

# The Language of Friendship is not words but meaning.
Happy Friendship Day!

# Friendship is a little more trust,
A little less try,
A little more laugh,
And a little less cry,
A little more WE and a little less I.
Happy Friendship Day!